I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My feet surprised me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
