sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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