I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
