is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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