she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
