she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
why do cheetos always look like penises
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero