No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
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he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
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Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.