I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i now understand why vodka