Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
