I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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