Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize