Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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