omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Shame - the story of my life.
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