apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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