I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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