i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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