I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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