batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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