Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.