it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.