i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.