i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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