we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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