feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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