Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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