Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's shark week go big or go home
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
