Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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