I think I won the penis lottery.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
