Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
