are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
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