The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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