Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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