I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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