i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The Olympian is in my bed
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
