The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
