How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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