I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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