Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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