dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time