Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.

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(248): The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out. http://tfl.nu/flyw

Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (1193)
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(813): View more from Florida

i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.

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(813): i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table. http://tfl.nu/iec6

Replies (87) Good night (674) Bad night (7730)
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(408): View more from California

and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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(408): and pubic hair rears its ugly head again http://tfl.nu/ouhf

Replies (72) Good night (563) Bad night (3350)
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(850): View more from Florida

when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.

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(850): when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move. http://tfl.nu/4rb4

Replies (27) Good night (693) Bad night (3180)
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(917): View more from New York City

the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning

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(917): the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning http://tfl.nu/3svo

Replies (10) Good night (5394) Bad night (628)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

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(414): I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america... http://tfl.nu/w5je

Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (3211)
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(518): View more from New York

I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.

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(518): I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly. http://tfl.nu/462q

Replies (88) Good night (3949) Bad night (886)
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(708): View more from Illinois

He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.

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(708): He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS. http://tfl.nu/pf4u

Replies (58) Good night (14820) Bad night (1609)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.

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(403): Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice. http://tfl.nu/ol36

Replies (10) Good night (3455) Bad night (980)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.

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(901): I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck. http://tfl.nu/z7fe

Replies (21) Good night (8251) Bad night (861)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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(412): At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car http://tfl.nu/wr7k

Replies (9) Good night (1867) Bad night (1051)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.

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(920): Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/t9h7

Replies (9) Good night (2199) Bad night (771)
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(845): View more from New York

Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

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(845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx

Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (491)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.

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(250): I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder. http://tfl.nu/j76c

Replies (9) Good night (2398) Bad night (889)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night

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(859): Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night http://tfl.nu/xjt9

Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (353)

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