I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.