If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
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I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
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You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.