Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
