He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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