let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
