you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.