It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.