can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.