Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
