So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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