Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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