I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
