YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.