So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.