The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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