do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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