Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
