**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
