im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
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Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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