I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
